17. Embracing Growth, Creativity and Rage

I think I’m safe in saying we all seek growth. Being part of the Mindful Memo community leads me to believe that you, too, desire growth and positive change in your life.

So why does it feel so uncomfortable? There’s a perception that growth should be exciting and easy, that we simply flourish. But, from my own experience, I’ve found that growth is often messy, raw, and incredibly uncomfortable. Uncovering and confronting the parts of myself that hold me back can bring up sadness, anger, and frustration.

You might remember me mentioning how Andy (my husband) and I have had a challenging 18-ish months. Thankfully, we’re finally finding our feet again with him finding stable work, which has given us space and permission to plan and dream for the future. Yet, alongside this relief and excitement is the quiet awareness that I don't want to repeat those 18 months. And for that to happen, growth is necessary.

I’m back in therapy, but this time in a wonderfully unconventional way - group work with some very special people in my life. Out of respect for everyone’s privacy, I won't dive too deeply into the specifics. However, I will share this: working through my layers of self in front of others is vulnerability at a whole new level. Yet, I know deep in my bones that this vulnerability is exactly where the magic happens.

There are days when I want to scream, "FUCK YOU, VULNERABILITY!" But I keep turning up. I keep leaning in. Mainly for future me. Because she’s done the hard work and is waiting on the other side with a newfound joy.

But it’s not all pain and resistance! To balance the intensity of inner growth, I've made myself a simple promise: each day, I will do something creative. So, I bought myself (another!) adorable little sketchbook with a lilac cover. To bypass my rather loud inner critic, I’ve been hopping onto Pinterest, scrolling until something inspires me and then recreating the art that catches my eye.

In my years of personal growth and inner work, I've realised something powerful: most of us live with a very loud inner critic. Mine can be especially cruel when it comes to creative pursuits, often paralysing me before I've even begun. Because of this, I've never truly found my flow or artistic style. Right now, I'm giving myself permission to explore, try new things, and learn openly from others. It’s freeing and a beautiful reminder that growth doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs us to show up.

How about you? Where are you feeling resistance or vulnerability around your own growth right now? I'd also love your advice: what practices or strategies have you found helpful in navigating your own growth?

Libby x

P.S. In case you missed it, I dropped a new meditation on the podcast last month! It's specifically designed for those times when you feel inner rage rising (and with the state of the world, that can be pretty often). You can find it on Spotify and Apple Podcast.